The Compleat Angler Store

Mugs and Stuff for Anglers and Fishing Tales For Everyone


The River Dane, Northwich Town Centre

"X" marks the spot.

River Dane, Northwich, “X” marks the spot.

I know, I know, you’ve all been waiting an awfully long time for another fishing post. The fact is, I’ve been working very hard – I have a hungry wife to feed but she still won’t put weight on, she’s lucky like that – and fishing trips have been few and far between.

I should explain: In the time since my last Blog Post I’d been working for Royal Mail as a Mail Sorter. (I wonder why they call them “Mail Sorters”, it’s not like you’re going to sort anything else at Royal Mail). I got so good at it I was getting paid roughly the same as everyone else whether they had been there for 30 years or 30 minutes and so I could see that advancement and promotion was going to be hard to come by.

So, while working for Royal Mail was OK, I decided to move onto another job whereby my best efforts would be rewarded with more money but if I was useless I’d go broke.  Accordingly, I’m now one of those irritating persons who stand at the entrance of supermarkets selling RAC Breakdown Cover. Mind you, I’m only irritating if you don’t talk to me. Once you’re chatting with me you soon find out I’m incredibly charming and funny (but still short and bald). You’ll find buying RAC Breakdown Cover from me will become second nature should you stop by for a conversation.

I’ve been working for RAC for a couple of months now. The job can be incredibly boring but it can also be great fun. I like talking to nice people and every now and then I meet some. The Jury is still out as to whether I’ll be successful. That said, I’d like “The Jury” to return a verdict (without delay) of “Incredibly Successful and Getting Wealthy Fast” but in the end you never can tell. I probably won’t be retiring any time soon,  or ever, really.

I realise I’ve gotten a bit off track here, after all, this is an article about a great little fishing trip I took to the River Dane in Northwich Town Centre. It’s a day ticket venue, a Fiver very well spent. Once of the reasons it’s a “Fiver very well spent” is: DID YOU SEE THE NEWS THIS MORNING?  North Korea and its Maniac Fat Boy has been setting off nuclear bombs again. Now, for the P.C. crowd among you, I’m not “Fat Shaming” Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un by mentioning “Fat Boy” even though he is quite a Fat Boy. “Fat Boy” was also the name of the 2nd Atomic Bomb dropped on Nagasaki during WW2. I find the co-incidence both terrifying and yet reassuringly frightening. It’s best to try not to worry about it, I only mentioned the Maniac North Korean Nuclear Testing in case you missed it. I’ve been away from this Blog so long I was worried you were not keeping up with World Affairs. (Did you hear that Donald Trump has confirmed he’s running for President of the U.S.A.?)

Back to the fishing and the day ticket and the Fiver well spent: It looks like all money you spend from this point on is money well spent because there’s no point in NOT spending it  because the way things are going we may all very well end up as Nuclear Fallout, our ashes drifting around the planet, blowing in the wind and getting stuck on the vanes of wind turbines. In case you missed “wind turbines” because you kept coming back to this blog on a daily basis for the past 20 years to see ZERO up dates instead of reading actual useful stuff, wind turbines were reportedly constructed to Save The Earth from Mankind’s Worst Behaviour which we’d been assured was Burning Fossil Fuels. That was until we gave it some thought and came to the conclusion that Slinging Nuclear Missiles all over the place has the potential to be Mankind’s Much Worst Behaviour.

So, my advice, spend your money NOW.  You can spend some of it on RAC Breakdown Cover (with me, of course) or Fishing (highly recommended, right up there with “Buying RAC Cover With Me”) or you can buy a hammer to smash your TV screen in because you really don’t want to see the news these days.

This article is now well over 600 words long and although some anglers have been known to wait for DAYS for a bite it doesn’t mean that “some anglers” have boundless patience, it just means “some anglers” are useless anglers.  The rest of you have already had enough of reading this nonsense and are nodding off so I’ll write about my wonderful afternoon of Fishing On The River Dane In Northwich Town Centre on my next post and I promise you won’t have to wait a year for it. I myself am a fairly Useless Angler but I still caught fish. Knowing you might become Nuclear Melt at any second makes you catch fish fast because you never know when your next trip will be.

river dane fishing