First of all, I received tremendous news this morning. No, I had not won the Euromillions, but the next best thing plopped through the letterbox. It was a communication from Vehicle Control Services Ltd., the company which has the lucrative contract for imposing fines for vehicles they allege are parked “illegally” on private property. Remember my Parking Ticket at Telfords Warehouse last month during my day out at the Shropshire Union Canal? Yes, the parking ticket which ruined my day and caused me untold Pain and Suffering and caused me to send in an appeal with loads of supporting photographs? Well, my appeal was successful and I don’t have to pay the fine.
Mind you, Vehicle Control Services didn’t apologise for giving me the ticket in the first place. They simply said about this matter “We have accepted the points you have raised and we can confirm that the Parking Charge Notice has been cancelled with immediate effect and our records are now closed.” I wonder if I should sue? I almost feel as if I should ask you, my faithful readers, an important question about Vehicle Control Services: “Do you think they’re twats?”
Changing subject slightly: I couldn’t go fishing today but I had a spare hour and so I made my way to Lloyds Meadow Fishery where I knew there was to be a Festive Get Together of Coarse Fishermen. There had been much talk of this event on fishing-related social media outlets. The deal was, turn up in fancy dress and meet fellow anglers and chat and be festive and maybe, just maybe, have a fish.
Well, when I got to the fishery there was one angler in Santa Claus Fancy Dress. He was fishing intently. There were also several other anglers in normal Fishing Dress and they were also intently fishing. This means that not even Xmas nor fancy dress can distract Coarse Fishermen from fishing. Nuclear War cannot distract them from fishing. I have proof of this in that I know that Sex is better than Nuclear War and none of these anglers were having sex. They were fishing. So, if there was Nuclear War which is much less fun than Sex it’s fair to say that Coarse Fishermen would be fishing. I have to admit, it was very hard for me to be there and not fish although I was greatly aided by the fact that I had deliberately left my fishing gear at home. Those anglers who were fishing right in front of my very eyes don’t know how lucky they were that I didn’t start begging “Oh, go on mate, give us just one cast, let me see if I can catch something, I’m not currently having sex.”
As it happened some very good anglers struggled somewhat to put big nets together but because they were very good anglers they still caught some impressive fish. The weather was warm and cloudy and damp and there wasn’t a breath of wind while I was there. No doubt had I been fishing I would have had a hard time of it. Or I could have gotten very lucky and caught some very big fish and put together a massive weight and shown the Experts a thing or two but of course now we’ll never really know.
After an hour of chatting and wandering around beautiful Lloyds Meadow Fishery I returned to the car. Fortunately the good people (or “twats”, you decide) of Vehicle Control Services don’t operate there and I found my car to be Parking Ticket Free. What ruined the fishing for me today was the fact that I didn’t fish. I must remind myself not to do that again! I’ll be out tomorrow to try my luck although I’m not sure yet where. Full report tomorrow!